tinkerbell39's Blog

Sorry, I haven't been around....things have been crazy around here.  To top it off..if took me two dang days to get rid of that stupid headache! 

i have a question for all you out there that are in an unhappy marriage?  Do you still have sex with your spouse?  (probably a stupid question, I know!)

My husband and I have not had sex in months...several months.  It sucks.  My husband is that last person I want to be intimate with right now.  How can you want to be close to someone who treats you like dirt?  But I soooo miss being intimate with someone..not "just" the sex but the intimacy too.  How do you handle it?  Anyone relate???

Tried to send ya a message back but you don't let people send you messages

i wish this fricken headache would go away!  It is one of those headaches that no matter what I take it does not want to go away!  i even took a vicodin and that didn't help.  I wish I could take nap.  Too much to do though.  I hope everyone out there has had a good weekend.  I had a great time with my girls Friday night.  The bliss of that quickly ended when I had to deal with my husband.  He has just been an absolute jerk.  We have barely spoken two words to one another...which is actually good for me after he was such a jerk.  Geez...I wonder why I have a headache?   I need to go get my mind of this stupid headache.  I love to cook, so i think I will go make some comfort food for dinner.  I'll let ya know how it turns out...

I think my thoughts today have been more positive.  Not about my marriage or husband but about myself.  i actually worked out today......not something done on a regular basis but it did make me feel good.  Some guy at the gas station today told me I was pretty.  All you woman know what a huge ego boost that was!  Why is it, that a small compliment from a complete stranger can turn your whole day around?  Now I am getting ready to my daughters out for a nice dinner and then some shopping!  Just focusing on good things today and setting the bad aside...it will still be there waiting for me but for now it can just sit there!

I so appreciate the responses and positive words that were shared.  Thank you so much.  Yes, I have talk to my husband a few hundred  times.  i am a very open and expressive person.  it didn't get me anywhere.  A lot of empty promises but nothing ever changed.  I went for therapy for myself....to fix the areas maybe i was making things worse.  He has a very bad/explosive temper an is suppose to be in therapy and anger-managment classes but he quit going.  he won't go to anymore therapy with or without me.  I feel like I am at the point where i feel nothing for him anymore.  i am talked out and have no more tears to shed.  i think this is just how things are going to be and I am going to have to live with it.  I am basically living my life for my kids and myself.  It is very lonely though.  I had wanted someone to share my life with.  He is never here and when he is, it is miserable.  oh gosh, i feel like i am whinning ...i hope i am not coming across that way.  i don't want people to feel sorry for me...i just want to connect with other people who can relate.  i am sick of feeling alone.  i know i can't be the only person going through something like this.  i am going to bed for now...but i will be back tomorrow with more to say and share.  Good night!

Is this what my life had resorted too?  Blogging about how unhappy I am?  Hopefully some of you out there will read this and we can help each other out.  I have been married for 5 years..........I am so unhappy.  My marriage is a joke.  Like a lot of you....no love, no sex, no affection.  I know I am not perfect but I do know I deserve better.  I stay for the kids but don't even know if that is the right thing to do?  He treats me badly in front of the kids and I know that is hurting them.  I am pretty lost and stuck in a situation and can't see the right thing to do?  I have even thought of having affair because I feel like I am starving for affection.  How pathetic is that? 

Okay that is enough whinning for one night.  I will be back tomorrow.  Thanks for listening.  I have never blogged before.........did I do it right?